Sorry for the delayed post……..
So since Christmas, it’s been a pretty hectic two weeks. We worked on getting our Visas in another town outside of where my parents live, just to fix the final details prior to leaving to the US and A. “3-5 days and you’ll get the passports sent back to you” – In great spirits of having gone through the interview relatively headache free (we made sure to be prepared) – we stayed with some friends, since the embassy was in another town. Following the interview, we cruised around the city, got some munch, had dinner with our friends family, where we were quizzed on all things “how does it feel to be parents soon”. We were as always cautiously optimistic and expressed our ongoing excitement through wifeys pregnancy.
Once back home, I took the liberty of going shopping with dad, whilst wifey stayed home and manage to devour a whole oven pizza just 2 hours after lunch – which resulted in a few fatty jokes, which she, at the time, took lightly. The same night wifey got on the scale and started stressing about weight gain, reaching out to her pregnant/ more experienced friends, who soothed the idea of obesity, stating that all weight gained is already in the process of getting lost through breastfeeding. I was reminded to stop calling her fat, cause it’s the opposite of what “sexy foreplay” would entail. The next morning wifey went back to her ol’ self consuming a breakfast not shy of an ethiopian village feast. “Holy sht babe… looks like yesterday surely put your worries to rest”. What followed was a silent glare… no more sarcastic laughs or a playful pout face response and the dreaded “silent treatment”. Fuck…… this is going to be a looong day.
I went out, brought flowers…. Resulting in no response….. Dad recommended getting her favorite bakery “pudding” snack, which then my brother picked up, with cash sponsored from my mother, making this whole ordeal purely a family experience…. Still resulting in no response. Funny to think of it, as my brothers girlfriend just left several days before my silent treatment day, where she got pissed off about my brother not sharing a cheeseburger with her (which at the time was described as a petty response by wifey). So here I was, trying to resolve the mistakes made and took the liberty of reading a “parenting for men” book, not because I’m an awesome to be dad, but because wifi was down and in this little village, beyond avoiding judging glares by old people, there isn’t much to do. As I started reading, it did get interesting though. I mentioned this before, but the book continuously highlighted the fact that mothers bond quicker with their babies, hence men should make the effort to spend as much time with the baby as possible through skin contact, helping with diaper changes, playing games and continuously talking to the baby. I was thankful for the tips I received such as, babies hearing sounds at lower frequencies in the belly, which means talking deeper ill make her recognize your voice easier, that babies are short sighted and that if you want to engage with the baby that you should be no further than 20cm from the baby’s face, how to give baby massages to build rapport and trust etc.
Here’s what annoyed me though. May just be me, but this book, just like a lot of the others I read basically stated the male uselessness when it comes to the early stages of parenting and the assistance we can offer. This means that the man is nothing but a supporting figure to his wife, rather than to his baby. A lot of the book read like a “how to keep your wife happy book” rather than a “this is how you do dad stuff” book. If you have any recommendations in regards to helpful reading material, please let me know. At the dinner table, the topic of breastfeeding (specifically how long one breast feeds) was discussed heavily and with me just having educated myself regarding the facts and figures, I proudly told the rest of the family that 6 months is the minimum, as it builds the child’s immune system. As much as wifey was angry with me and was trying to ignore me, she did end up being impressed and asked me where I learnt this…. To which i stated, “I have my sources”….. Only a fool gives away his source of intel and advantage.
Shortly after dinner, I was made to promise not to call her fat again and we went back to our civil wifey/husband relationship. We sat down for a glass of wine (wifey had the non-alcoholic alternative), with my Aunt and cousin swinging by, where the news broke that my grandmother (on my dad’s side), who was admitted into hospital a couple of days prior, since she can’t breathe properly, was health wise deteriorating. Many days from now will be filled with hospital visits…. Although no one is saying this, everyone seems to indicate that 2017 may be another year of casket carrying……
For now… We will be taking it step by step and hope our passports arrive soon….. Hope your new year was better.