So I’ve started reading blogs on what is happening to my wife, in order to better “understand her” (fuck delusions, you never will, but this will at least get you closer to it). I downloaded this app called “What to expect”, which basically is an app that groups all women and their husbands/boyfriends/no label/”it’s complicated”, going through the same stages of pregnancy based on the child’s potential “birth date”. Here, as a man, I tried to level with my brothers in arms, only to find that the majority of the boards were all very “female” centric. Still awesome insights in regards to what women are going through, be it weird cravings, emotional fluctuations, at what age women have conceived babies, exponential boob growth (brothers rejoice!) and so forth. It gives the whole community somewhat of a personality and it’s awesome to see all these “holy shit, this happened” moments quickly addressed through mutual research insights OR experience.
After the doctor’s visit, we asked a few more questions regarding wifeys nausea, which the doctor said was “normal”. Wifey is still losing weight (albeit little and unnoticeable), so as far as the puke sessions are concerned, it’s all part of the program. You can get Sea-band bracelets, which are basically bands with marbles in them that work specific acupuncture points to combat nausea. Apparently they work, but they do not necessarily rid you of nausea completely. You can build these yourself, by just getting sweat bands and 2 marbles… I’m sure there are some youtube tutorials out there. I even hit the “holy grail” of finding out that Vitamin B6 helps to reduce nausea, we’ve tried this, but I honestly couldn’t tell you of the impact that this is having, since the puking sessions in the morning and evening are pretty consistent. We had less than a month till our next ‘wedding’ (had one in Norway, the second one is in Japan). Wifey’s eating habits changed from salty (she selfishly finished 3 Salt & Vinegar chip packets by herself and left me crumbs) to sour (lemon drops EVERYWHERE). She managed to keep the majority down, but gave me evils when I basically kept chucking more vegetables on her plate. Rule of thumb is, the greener the vegetable, the better in terms of Zinc, Iron (helps with fatigue),essential vitamins etc. I’m not a doctor, but this is basically acquired knowledge from random blog & research paper posts.
Other vitamins you should strongly consider are any multivitamins that include; folic acid – which reduces the risk of neural tube defects (also found in Avocado, Spinach, Broccoli, Asparagus, Beets, Oranges, Sunflower seeds, Legumes, Lentils, Black/Kidney/Pinto beans. DHA – Helps with baby brain development (so your kid will eventually be smarter than you, get a great job and help you out with early retirement) – flax seed, chia seeds, hemp seeds, leafy greens, berries, wild rice (also has iron, protein, fiber & Omega 3’s). Other foods that all blogs are saying that are awesome for your wife and baby-in-progress are; chives, figs, leeks, artichokes, pumpkin seeds, tahini, basil, herring, molasses (in small doses for magnesium, manganese & B6), eggs – basically the gold standard for prenatal protein, folate, iron etc. APART from that, DON”T get anything with synthetic vitamin E – as it’s very harmful for the baby!
Beyond this, we basically keep crackers around, because apparently an empty stomach leads to a more nauseous feeling. So naturally, as you can guess, skipping meals isn’t a good idea. There are times when these weird food cravings can become exceptionally annoying. Basically what you need to remember, as a man, you will have little to no say, in regards to what your next meal could be, because depending on what SHE feels like, planning ahead for that amazing “wings” night, could easily fall flat, because of a sudden urge for pickles or some vegan sandwich she once found online somewhere (50% off! get a small kale salad or a shot of wheatgrass free).
We also learned, that if your significant other (i.e. wife/girlfriend/no label/”it’s complicated) is a sushi aficionado, that this needs to be done in controllable amounts. Our doctor said, sushi is fine, however even in great sushi restaurants, you don’t necessarily know if the restaurant is 100% hygienic. It is better to avoid it altogether and just stick to foods that are fully cooked (no more medium- rare steaks… even if the waiter/cook looks at you funny).
Something I also noticed and I confronted my wife about is hair….. hair everywhere. The sink, the shower, my clothes. We have a dog that doesn’t shed as much as she does nowadays. “babe, get it together, your shits like everywhere!” “FUCK YOU!” (rage rage rage rage) until I submit and apologize. I asked the doctor about it again on our next visit and he stated it was stress induced, which i honestly don’t get, because wife has turned into a living/breathing representation of a panda bear – she eats, she sleeps, she goes to the bathroom to either puke or take shits and then goes to sleep again… so yeah, don’t know where the stress is coming from and when I confronted her was assaulted and told it was all me. Doc also confirmed that the whole ordeal with hair loss will lessen once the second trimester hits and that she will make a full recovery a few months after pregnancy.
Keep it together boys, the first trimester is like walking on eggshells with timbaland’s after a hot dog eating competition, where you placed second and you have to carry a massive trophy that says you’re ONLY number 2, which upsets you, because you wanted number 1 (if you ain’t first you’re LAST!) and because of this you’re upset and you eat more, because you feel sad for yourself and then you lock yourself in a dark room and avoid contact with the cashier on additional food runs and the downward spiral continues. Also… just to add to the misery, no sex, at least in my world.